Throughout the next week I had worked out a routine, which
involved me dressing up as a woman whenever at home and changing back to male
clothes when I wanted to venture outside. Rohit still was not comfortable
whenever I wore male clothing, but had accepted that my male self was indeed
just a driver who drove him to and from the school and the hospital. Rest of
the times I was wearing Sneha’s dresses and remained as a female to make sure
that he was happy. Every time I opened her wardrobe, my curiosity would get the
better of me and I’d end up trying out different types of clothes. I had a lot
of help from the internet and learnt a lot about dressing up in sarees and other
dresses. I had also started learning make up skills by watching videos and by
the end of the week, had improved beyond recognition. Now I did make a passable
woman, if I could say so myself. Meanwhile Sneha was getting stronger by the
day, and finally on a fine Monday morning, the doctors deemed that she could be
discharged. I dropped off Rohit at his school and then went to pick her up. She
was ready and was wearing a simple dress and a beautiful smile. I wheeled her
out after paying the charges and helped her into the car and then drove her
back home. Most of the bandages had been removed and the only ones remaining
were on her limbs. We went in and she complimented me on the way I maintained
her place and was really happy that I was there to help her. I brushed it off
with a smile and went about setting her up in her bed and then brought her
everything she’d need. After preparing lunch, I went to pick up Rohit and when
we came back, I led him to the bedroom.
“Look who is back, Rohit.” I said.
With a loud shout of “mommy” he ran towards his mother and
hugged her. After sometime she released him and he asked her about the
bandages. She convinced him that it was nothing and that she is going to be at
home from then onwards. With a leap of joy, Rohit left to play with his dolls.
I went about readying lunch and then after feeding ourselves, we started
chatting, whilst went about finishing my official work for the day.
With every passing day Sneha got better and better. I, on
the other hand, started getting frustrated, as I missed dressing up. Neither
could I let it on to her that I had been in her clothes for two extraordinary
weeks. To add on to that, Rohit had started asking Sneha about the “other
mommy” who had taken care of him when she’d been away. At first she didn’t
understand what he was talking about and thought it was common amongst children
to imagine such stuff. But he kept repeating it and after almost a fortnight,
she confronted me about it. I mumbled something and left saying I had to finish
my job. Around this time, my frustrations got the better of me and I started to
behave erratically at times. One fine day, my resolve broke and I stealthily
entered her room when she was asleep and took a set of her dresses with me. I
went to the hall and started dressing up in the saree that I had taken. Just as
I was about to swing the pallu over my back, I looked up to find Sneha staring
at me, with a sly grin on her face.
“Oh dear, I’ve finally figured out who the “other mommy” is!
Was this the way you convinced Rohit to like you.”
“Sneha it is not what you think.” I interjected.
“Really? How do you explain the perfectly clad saree then,
Arun?”
“Sneha I had no other choice. You had been taken in for some
tests and I was told to expect you back, only after a few hours. I called up
Rohit’s teacher and even she wasn’t available. Even the landlady had gone on a
trip and I didn’t know anyone else I could trust him with. So I had to do
this.” I explained frantically.
“What about the day care? I’m sure a person with a brain
such as yours would’ve contemplated that option. Aha, by the look on your face,
you didn’t. So tell me, you do like to wear female clothes.”
“Sneha, I would like to confess something to you. I’ve
always been a very sensitive person and also had a lot of feminine feelings in
me. Ever since I can remember I’ve always wanted to dress up as a woman would,
and revel in my femininity. This was probably one of the reasons why I learnt
to keep a house. And I swear upon god that I’m straight and sane man who is in
touch with his feminine side. And my dressing up in your clothes was an
accident. I had no intentions of doing so and had it not been for Rohit’s
tantrum, I wouldn’t even be standing here, explaining all this to you.”
“Had it not been for Rohit, I wouldn’t have found out the
true person hidden within the man I love. And don’t worry, I am not mad at you.
I just hope that you had come clean with me and told me about it that very day
itself. It’d have saved you a lot of frustration.”
“Wh-what? You are not angry at all?”
“No Arun I am not. I fell in love with you because you were
so caring and attentive and sensitive and not to mention, cute. It didn’t
strike me at that time, but now I can see why you turned out to be such a
person.”
And with that she requested me to sleep wearing the saree
and then went off to bed herself.
*******************
After that fateful night, my life changed for the better and
Sneha encouraged me to dress up whenever I wanted to. She checked it up on the
internet and told me that I was, what people called, a crossdresser or a cd for
short. I was surprised to find out that others existed like me and that at that
very moment, thousands of people around the world were dressed up as the
opposite sex. Needless to say, I read a lot about it too. Meanwhile, Sneha and
I had started talking more and more about girly stuff, as my crossdressing
desires had led me to walk through the doors of fashion.
One day, a couple of weeks after Sneha had walked in on me
wearing her clothes, she came up to me and told me that I needed a girl name,
since I was dressed in her clothes all the time. She said that she couldn’t
call me as Arun when I was wearing female clothes and looked like one too.
Initially I refused to her proposition, but gradually I started liking the idea
and conceded after a couple of days. We discussed a lot of names and finally
decided on a name that we both liked.
“I hereby name you Gauri, by the powers vested in me by the
almighty Arun!” she pronounced dramatically and then started giggling. I
couldn’t help it myself, and started giggling too.
From then onwards both mother and son started referring to
me only as Gauri and I loved it that way too. By the end of the third month I
had mastered not only dressing and making myself up, but also feminine
mannerisms and had practiced endlessly to obtain a feminine range voice.
However I had never ventured out as Gauri as I was not confident about myself.
Sneha tried convincing me but her efforts went in vain as I refused to budge. And
we used to go to the hospital once in every ten days to check her healing
progress and the doctors were surprised at her speedy recovery. They praised me
of being an excellent caretaker and informed me that Sneha could start with her
physiotherapy from that very day itself. They asked me to bring her to the
hospital daily for an hour long session in the mornings. Moreover they asked me
to help her exercise at home so that she could become mobile sooner.
Her exercise regime began and she slowly started walking
without support again. She’d sometimes come to help me out in the kitchen. As I
had never liked to be helped with my work, I’d make her sit in one corner and
we’d chat about everything under the sun. it was during these chats that I came
to understand her completely and felt that her deception was too trivial a
thing to give up on her and our future together. However I did not let it on to
her as I still was contemplating the alternatives.
Six months flew by and Sneha was hale and healthy and I did
not have a reason to stay anymore. So one fine morning, I packed up my bags,
without her knowing and then went about doing my work for the day. After lunch
I broke the news to her. She did not take it well at all and although she
didn’t show her feelings, there was a sort of a pleading look in her eyes. I
told her that I had no right to stay in the same house as her any longer and
also cited that I needed to join back at the office as a full time employee.
Mother and son waved me a teary goodbye when I left and it took me every morsel
of mental strength I possessed to drive away.
**************
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